


Asters and Dandelions

by teki10



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Pining, Tim is a bit of a disaster but its okay, just wanted to write something short and sweet!, the sweet comes at the end lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 08:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20404846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teki10/pseuds/teki10
Summary: If, sometimes, the coughing fits he took were less to do with The Operator and more to do with a different kind of sickness, well, Tim didn’t really think Jay needed to know that.





	Asters and Dandelions

If, sometimes, the coughing fits he took were less to do with The Operator and more to do with a different kind of sickness, well, Tim didn’t really think Jay needed to know that. Not yet and maybe not ever, considering their current situation and the fact that this would only complicate an already complicated set up.

But he had to admit it was getting harder to hide and harder to cope, what with his close proximity at nearly all times to the cause of the disease.

Or. He supposed that wasn’t fair. After all, it’s not like it was Jay’s fault that Tim was in love with him.

Except it was more than that, had to be if he’d gotten sick because of it. You don’t start sprouting flowers in your lungs unless it’s something serious and “in love with” didn’t feel strong enough to truly convey what Tim was going through.

It was the type of love that made it hard to breathe when he looked into Jay’s eyes, that made it impossible to focus if their shoulders were touching, that made him know that he’d do anything to make the other man happy. It was deep and all encompassing and, goddamn it, made even thinking about his feelings for more than 5 seconds result in the choking up of flowers. 

(They were dandelions. Sometimes yellow, sometimes white and puffy. He guessed they were probably Jay’s favorite, and that made his heart swell uncomfortably)

And at first, sure, it was bearable. He’d realized his feelings for Jay slowly and then all at once, and then a week later woke up with a dandelion stuck in his throat. He’d had to run to the bathroom to gag it up and he knew what was happening only because someone in the hospital he’d been in had gotten it and he’d witnessed the flowers firsthand at lunch that day. She’d been transferred to a different inpatient facility the next day though, so he didn’t know how it progressed or how she’d ended up.

After the first incident it started happening a couple times a day and, if he was within Jay’s sight, he’d cough into a tissue, wrap the flower(s) inside, and toss them in the trash. It was unpleasant but not horrible.

But then it got worse.

Suddenly he was full on vomiting dandelions at least once a day, intermittent bouts of violent coughing coming every other hour at least. It was absolute hell and he didn’t know how to stop it or how to make it not seem suspicious or worrying to Jay, especially when it was getting harder to hide the flowers when the trash cans became full of tissues with yellow and white peeking out.

Jay had tried a few times to ask if he was alright, voice hinting at the volume of the question even though he, by his own admission, wasn’t great at conveying what he meant when he spoke. And Tim, every time, had given halfhearted, exhausted, smiles and told him that yes, he was fine. It was just The Operator and maybe he needed to up his dosage of medication.

Jay always looked unconvinced but let it drop, reluctantly.

This song and dance lasted a couple weeks before the inevitable happened.

They had been talking, a normal conversation about memories that Tim was anxious about because they hadn’t really talked much since the flowers started sprouting. But it had happened organically and Jay looked happy to be interacting with him properly again and Tim couldn’t just bail.

But Jay did something he always did, a cute laugh and a glance to the side, nothing that should’ve been a big deal. That is, it wouldn’t have been if Tim wasn’t absolutely hopelessly in love with him, and if he didn’t find it adorable and painful and if at that moment his lungs hadn’t decided to betray him in the worst possible way.

But they did. Of course they did.

And before he could even process that it was happening he was coughing and choking, too sudden to cover his mouth, and white puffs were mingling with yellow dandelion heads on the ground by his feet.

Panicked, tears streaming down his face from the effort, he could barely hear Jay’s voice. He was asking if he was alright and asking, clearly confused and freaked out, about the flowers. Tim gestured wildly and even he didn’t know what the gestures meant.

By the time he’d finally expelled all the dandelions his throat was sore and raw and he felt lightheaded. 

Clearing his throat one last time, and without glancing at Jay (if he did it would betray how scared he was), he laid back on his bed and rubbed at his eyes with his palms.

It was several moments before Jay, uncertain, spoke up again. His voice was soft and it hurt, god it hurt.

“What’s up with the flowers?”

Tim, despite himself, gave a bitter sort of laugh.

“It’s” he took a shaky breath, unsure if he even wanted to explain truthfully. But he might as well, right? Everything had been laid out, bare, and here he was. Vulnerable and exhausted.

“It’s a disease.” He said, unable to raise his voice. “It uh. It happens when you’re really in love with someone and it. Uh. It fills your lungs with flowers. The other person’s favorite flowers. Until your love is proven requited.” He dug harder at his eyes for a moment before dropping his hands onto his stomach. He felt sick, and not in the usual ways.

Jay was quiet for a while and Tim didn’t dare look up at him. He regretted ever saying anything, regretted not just leaving for a while to clear his head. How was he supposed to ask Jay to deal with this information all of a sudden? It was selfish and inconsiderate and it was naive of him to think he could just talk with him like everything was normal when he was like this and-

His thought cycle was interrupted.

“Who are you in love with?” 

Tim winced at the question, forcefully choking down a sob that probably would’ve brought with it an onslaught of flowers. He looked adamantly at the yellowed ceiling.

“Ah. Well.” He started, voice unsteady. “That would be. You.”

He heard Jay give a small gasp and, as he was preparing an apology of some sort, finally looked over to him. He looked shocked, mouth slightly open, eyes wide. Tim couldn’t read his expression.

“Hey listen I’m s-” Tim said at the same time that Jay started with “I love y-”

They both looked at each other for a moment, taken aback.

“What?” Tim asked, pretty sure he’d misheard.

“Oh uh. I was gonna say that I. Love you too, man.” Jay said, more anxious now that Tim was looking at him.

“You…what? You do?’ This was honestly such an unforeseen outcome that Tim hadn’t dared to hope for, that he was at a loss. He pushed himself up on the bed, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Well…yea.” Jay said. “I’ve actually uh-” He paused to rifle around in his bag and pulled out….a ziplock bag with a flower in it? “I think I have the flower disease, too?”

It was Tim’s turn to be shocked.

“What?’ He said for the third time. “I mean. You do? For how long?” He leaned forward a bit, towards Jay, feeling a little hysterical.

Jay looked sheepish. “I coughed this up last night and didn’t know what was happening. I figured I should keep it until I figured out what was going on.”

“Wow. That’s. Damn.” Tim said eloquently, rubbing a hand down his face. “What the fuck.”

Jay gave a small laugh. “Right? I um. No matter how wild this whole thing is and how much it doesn’t seem like it can be real, I did think that it was maybe something to do with you. Because you said a few weeks ago that your favorite flower is an aster and that. Seems to be what this is”

Tim looked closer at the flower, a beautiful purple. It was indeed an aster.

It was quiet between them again for a few moments.

“We probably won’t cough up anymore.” Tim said finally. “If the feelings are requited the flowers are supposed to go away.” 

“Guess I lucked out, only coughing for a day.” Jay quipped, putting the bag back in his bag. Tim didn’t ask why he was keeping it.

“Yea, I’m honestly gonna fight you about it, man.” Tim said, smiling sincerely for what felt like the first time in months. He felt like he could pass out at any moment, a crushing weight having been lifted off of him.

“Listen, it’s not my fault I’m a little slow on the uptake. I didn’t know I was actually in love with you until last night.”

Tim shook his head, exasperated. “Unbelievable” He said even though it was very believable.

They both laughed. Maybe this would work out okay after all, in the end. Maybe they’d make it out together, stronger than they were before.


End file.
